 "We can easily forgive the child who is afraid of the dark... the real tragedy is the adult who is afraid of the light".
– Adapted from Plato How often have we smiled when we have encountered a child who expresses their fear of the dark? It's easy to both remember and understand how someone so young could see the dark as frightening and dangerous, and yet we are not frightened. In fact, we might even try to allay their fears by explaining that "there is nothing to be afraid of." If they refuse to believe us, however, we simply chalk it up to their lack of awareness, and know that someday they will no longer invest the darkness with the power to frighten and repel. In other words, we hope that as they mature, they will no longer need to use fear to stay safe, and because we see this as a natural, developmental process, we are not overly concerned. As this week's quote suggests, however, what is truly tragic "is the adult who is afraid of the light," or someone who never grows out of this tendency to use fear to stay safe. Instead, they seem to just transfer their apprehension from "the dark" or the aspects of their life that are unknown, to "the light" or the truth about themselves, and the life they have created. This "fear of the light" could manifest itself as an unwillingness to recognize an addiction that is destroying their life, an abusive relationship that is maintained out of a false sense of "love," or simply a tendency to create their reality around a fantasy or fairy tale that has never existed. The problem with this coping strategy, of course, is that when we attempt to survive by avoiding the truth about ourselves and the life we have created, we cut ourselves off from the flow of valuable information that the universe is constantly giving us. Just as avoiding the "light" or the truth in the law of gravity could be problematic when deciding whether or not to jump from a third story window, our tendency to avoid the truth in other life decisions could be just as destructive. There is a quote that I have used from Ken Frogley, the editor of Priorities magazine, that speaks to this tendency. Ken says: "Honesty isn't always just saying the truth, sometimes it's about facing the truth. A life of confusion can often be a form of self-delusion. . . What are you pretending not to know?" The only reason we would "pretend not to know" or continue to avoid the truth about the life we have created is that we are afraid of what that truth might mean about us. While this fear of failure is understandable, it is also the very tendency that will ultimately cause us to fail. Therefore, rather than putting our faith in fear and avoidance, I suggest that we instead turn toward the light and make use of the valuable information that facing the truth will always provide. In other words, if we are willing to put our faith in truth and light versus fear and darkness, we can use this valuable information to choose again. Given that every moment contains the opportunity to choose, then facing the truth, even though it may be uncomfortable at first, can help us create a life of thriving versus merely surviving. Here's to a life of "enlightened" choices. Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill Bill Crawford, Ph.D. Local Phone: (832) 722-6147 |
Copyright © 2008 by Bill Crawford, Ph.D. :: Crawford Performance Solutions |