National Press

IS YOUR LIFE ON HOLD?
Uncertain times bring new choices in daily routines for people
By JEAN NASH JOHNSON, Staff Writer

The proverb, "Live for today because tomorrow is not promised," creates a quandary in the current climate. On one hand, there is the thought that if everything is OK in your personal life, take advantage of the here and now in spite of global economic uncertainties and news of terrorism. On the other hand, it's easy to feel guilty for indulging in personal pleasures while the country is in crisis.

People have to make purposeful choices, says Houston psychologist Bill Crawford. "Those feeling guilt about pleasures and positive emotions are perhaps creating more anxiety," he says. "The positive emotions offer peace of mind and actually broaden our options. Negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, and anger narrow our options." It's good to feel unashamed, and positive emotions probably will make us feel more effective in life, Dr. Crawford says. Peace of mind is healthy if you say "OK, what can I do - give blood, hug my kids, help out at school, throw a party, go to church, go on with life with a more aware perspective," he says.

Charles Crocker and his fiancee were set to go on a weekend casino getaway to Biloxi, Miss., on Sept. 14. The couple had planned and saved for the trip for weeks. Their flight was canceled, but they decided to take the vacation and drive to Shreveport instead. "It was the right thing to do, even though I think everybody around us was focused on the TV monitors everywhere," says Mr. Crocker. "We were like zombies, but I think we forced ourselves to have a good time." They were not going to let the tragedy cause them guilt or interrupt what they considered the American way of life, the Dallas remodeling contractor says.

"You work hard, and you deserve the fruits of it. If we had succumbed to outright fear and panic, the terrorists would have hit their mark." Since the Sept. 11 events, Loretta Haskell says she has not felt like celebrating. She says it is unpatriotic to whoop it up, attend functions, and celebrate holidays and other events as if nothing has changed. "True, we must continue with the daily work routine, but extra spending or celebrating just feels wrong," says the middle school teacher from Arkansas.
Although she does not know anyone personally who died in the terrorism attacks, Mrs. Haskell, a former Dallas resident, says she feels a loss. "I think there are many people who do not feel good about going about as if nothing happened."

But if we wallow in that notion it does no good, says Rob Bartley. The Bartleys celebrated their son Hunter's first birthday this week, and there was lots of family fun and presents. Mr. Bartley currently is out of work, but the 28-year-old Web page designer says he is staying positive and focused on keeping his faith. "The children especially should not be deprived", he says. "Birthdays, anniversaries, and all those traditions should be preserved and celebrated in the same manner ... I have lived life no differently since the attacks."
The Duncanville dad has no problem being in tall buildings, would fly without hesitation, and hasn't put any of his family's plans on hold. "Listen, I feel for people on both sides of this war. I wish I could help the sides agree, but I am unshaken in my belief that it is in God's authority."

LaDonna Hector says she was hesitant to live her life the same after Sept. 11. "I was afraid to leave home other than to go to work or church." She recently attended a Whole Life conference in Dallas, and Dr. Phil McGraw's address helped her gain perspective, she says. "He told the group that if a bomb goes off in the car in front of you on your way to the post office (or a party or wherever), you stop and render aid and then continue on your journey. I'm not saying we should get used to these things, but it definitely shouldn't make us live in fear."

Karen Klaus followed through with her plans to visit her hometown of York, Pa., on Sept. 20. She planned the trip a year ago and bought the tickets this summer. "I visited neighbors, cousins, aunts, uncles and friends," she says. "I also attended two reunions and was thrilled to see longtime friends." The Point, Texas, resident says she is thankful she went. One of her friends died shortly after her visit. Debbie Copeland and her family are selling their house and will buy a bigger one.

"The best thing I can do to help my government is to go on living my life and have faith in our leaders to make good decisions," says Mrs. Copeland, of Aledo, Texas. "We're doing our part to help the economy. "My daughter sent me Ben Franklin's quote, and I'm going to make it my motto: 'They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.' "When you think about it, isn't today all we really have for sure anyway?"