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Learn to Love Your Job

It's time to make peace with what you do.
By Kathy Simmons

Readers from the South are, no doubt, familiar with kudzu---a prolific vine that wraps itself around other vegetation, strangling the life out of it. Does this sound like what your job is doing to you? Rather than helping you to blossom, is your job running you over like a lawnmower? Stop the madness! You spend too much time at work to be miserable. You can cut through "career kudzu" by putting the following advice into action.

Be Honest With Your Boss

Your boss may be talented and inspirational, but probably not a mindreader. If you are frustrated at work, speak up. Your boss has a right to know if you are feeling undervalued, burned out, or desperately in need of a more flexible schedule. There are, of course, ways to conduct this talk so that you don't sound whiny or hopelessly confused. Many companies now offer training to employees, helping them to understand their personal values and what their "dream job" really is. This training teaches employees how to instigate and prepare for development discussions with their boss.
You may be more appreciated and have more options than you thought. A good boss can give you strategies to pull your attitude out of a funk. Give it a chance, and be honest in your discussion.

Let the Job Bring Out Your Best

If you have a job that matches your skills poorly, you'll end up hating it. For example, sales jobs are not for everyone. An introverted, quiet person is likely to feel uncomfortable chasing down some sales quota. Your job should fit like a glove, not force you to be something you are not. Ill-fitting jobs cause stress, according to psychologist Bill Crawford, author of All Stressed Up & Nowhere to Go!. Stress is a signal that something needs to change. "Suffering is when we don't make the change," Crawford explains, "Often we don't listen to the signal of stress in our lives until it becomes a severe problem." If your job is not fulfilling, get creative. Drastic changes are not always necessary. Arlene S. Hirsch, author of Love Your Work and Success Will Follow, tells the story of a banker with strong financial analysis skills who was experiencing great job dissatisfaction. He recaptured his love for music by accepting a job as CFO for a symphony orchestra. Smart move!

Acknowledge Your Anger

If you really hate your job, it's likely that you are fired up about something. Pinpointing the source of your anger is a crucial first step. According to Dr. Hendrie Weisinger, author of The Anger Workout Book, there are 5 main anger-provoking work situations:

1. Being left out. Not being accepted by your peers severely limits how effective you can be on the job, and shakes your fundamental need for acceptance.

2. Critical bosses. Nitpicking bosses are infuriating. To add insult to injury, the anger and frustration you feel toward these nitpickers cannot really be expressed.

3. Not getting promoted. You bust your butt and it's never acknowledged: Who wouldn't feel cheated? Most people handle this perceived injustice poorly by turning into negative, angry martyrs.

4. Being maligned by coworkers. As Dr. Weisenger points out, "being victimized by false rumors is a consistent anger arouser. It is abusive and unjust."

5. Incompetent bosses. Employees want to admire their leaders and follow them cheerfully. An incompetent boss can stifle your enthusiasm and torpedo your chances for job satisfaction.

Get Rid of Grudges

When people work together, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and cross words are inevitable. If you are mistreated at work, you'll be tempted to get even. Be careful: Making enemies can lead straight to job misery. Even if you have been treated unfairly, you can take the high road. While practicing forgiveness may be the last thing you want to do, it is often the wisest move. Offenders may not deserve your kindness, but you do. By forgiving abusive jerks, you are actually giving yourself a break. Sure, you can quit your job in a huff and seek greener pastures elsewhere. Find a place where people treat you with the love and respect that you deserve. Right? Wrong! You'll find "challenging" coworkers wherever you go. They just look different and have different names. You'd be better off finding ways to live in peace with people with various value systems.

Above all else, try to keep your perspective. We all hate our jobs occasionally---the trick is to keep those times few and far between. Putting these tips into practice will help you gain greater satisfaction at work. And when you consider that happy employees are more likely to get ahead, isn't that a goal worth smiling about?
Kathy Simmons, assistant vice president at a major U.S. insurance company, has written many career articles for The Wall Street Journal, Working Woman, Executive Update, Succeed, Career Magazine, and other publications. As Kathy reminds her readers: "We are all capable of change and growth; we just need to know where to begin." (Blaine Lee)