Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Awareness #2
"What we should learn before we die is what we're running from, and to, and why."
I found this thought from James Thurber to be especially profound because, like many excellent quotes, it packs a tremendous amount of wisdom into a few words, and in doing so, allows us to examine what is driving our choices and decisions, and ultimately our experience of life. With respect to this quote, I feel there is much wisdom to be applied in terms of our ability to raise our awareness in many areas. For example, the first part of the quote speaks to the importance of becoming more aware of what we are running from, or how it might serve us to stop and ask ourselves that question every once and a while . . . "What am I running from?"
Could it be some past secret or experience that we are afraid will be discovered? Or could it be fear itself . . . a fear that we are not enough somehow, a fear that we will never live up to expectations, that we will disappoint, that others will see through our attempt to hide our imperfections and reject us? Or maybe it's just a generalized fear that there is something wrong with us. Regardless, if we spend our lives running from these fears, then this will indeed be our experience of life. And, of course, as we all know, trying to run away from fear is like fleeing from our shadow. No matter how fast we run, it always follows and will continue to loom large and frightening until we shine the light of awareness upon it.
The second part of the quote speaks to the value of raising our awareness of what we are running to, or becoming clear about the goals we have decided we want to reach, or what we want to accomplish in life. This, of course, is valuable because it has the potential to give our life a focus, and if the goals are specific enough, even suggest the steps that will allow us to achieve these goals. That being said, the challenge here as with the first part of the quote, is to create these goals in a way that is less about our need to succeed (which is really our fear of failure) and more about the experience of life we want to create. We all know people who have adopted the goals of making a certain amount of money, buying a big house, an expensive car, getting married and having 2.5 children, etc., only to achieve these goals and find that they did not create the happiness and/or sense of accomplishment that was promised. Therefore, maybe we should instead become very purposeful about what we are "running to," or what we are trying to achieve, so that the process of reaching our goals is as least as rewarding as the end result. Further, maybe we should also decide whether "running" is the way we want to move forward in life and instead, choose a more purposeful pace that once again is congruent with the experience we want to create.
The final part of the quote ". . . and why" contains the fewest words and yet has the potential be the most profound and to hold the most value, because it is the "why" or the reason we do what we do that ultimately will determine how we experience life. For example, if we spend our days running from our past or toward our future out of fear that if we don't, bad things will happen, then this energy (the fear of bad things) will be our "why," and will thus color our every moment.
However, if we are willing to choose a more purposeful "why," then that energy can then inform our every choice, and as a result, we create a more purposeful experience of life. What could that energy be? How about awareness of the qualities and characteristics we want to practice right now versus worry that we will never be enough? How about clarity of what we want to accomplish, and who we want to be in this moment versus the belief that "when I get ______, then I will be happy?" How about a willingness to live our lives in such a way that if those we loved were learning from us, watching us do everything we do, we would be proud of what they learned?
In my humble opinion, this is the most important learning of all, and further, maybe we shouldn't wait until we are about to die to learn it. In other words, what would it be like if we knew this as a teenager, a young adult, in our 30's, 40's, or 50's? Of course, the good news is that it's never too late, and the present is always the best time to start anything.
Therefore, here's to a life of raised awareness where we are willing to ask ourselves the questions suggested by Mr. Thurber ("What are we running from, and to, and why?") on a regular basis and then act on the answers in a way that has us creating every moment of our lives "on purpose."
Could it be some past secret or experience that we are afraid will be discovered? Or could it be fear itself . . . a fear that we are not enough somehow, a fear that we will never live up to expectations, that we will disappoint, that others will see through our attempt to hide our imperfections and reject us? Or maybe it's just a generalized fear that there is something wrong with us. Regardless, if we spend our lives running from these fears, then this will indeed be our experience of life. And, of course, as we all know, trying to run away from fear is like fleeing from our shadow. No matter how fast we run, it always follows and will continue to loom large and frightening until we shine the light of awareness upon it.
The second part of the quote speaks to the value of raising our awareness of what we are running to, or becoming clear about the goals we have decided we want to reach, or what we want to accomplish in life. This, of course, is valuable because it has the potential to give our life a focus, and if the goals are specific enough, even suggest the steps that will allow us to achieve these goals. That being said, the challenge here as with the first part of the quote, is to create these goals in a way that is less about our need to succeed (which is really our fear of failure) and more about the experience of life we want to create. We all know people who have adopted the goals of making a certain amount of money, buying a big house, an expensive car, getting married and having 2.5 children, etc., only to achieve these goals and find that they did not create the happiness and/or sense of accomplishment that was promised. Therefore, maybe we should instead become very purposeful about what we are "running to," or what we are trying to achieve, so that the process of reaching our goals is as least as rewarding as the end result. Further, maybe we should also decide whether "running" is the way we want to move forward in life and instead, choose a more purposeful pace that once again is congruent with the experience we want to create.
The final part of the quote ". . . and why" contains the fewest words and yet has the potential be the most profound and to hold the most value, because it is the "why" or the reason we do what we do that ultimately will determine how we experience life. For example, if we spend our days running from our past or toward our future out of fear that if we don't, bad things will happen, then this energy (the fear of bad things) will be our "why," and will thus color our every moment.
However, if we are willing to choose a more purposeful "why," then that energy can then inform our every choice, and as a result, we create a more purposeful experience of life. What could that energy be? How about awareness of the qualities and characteristics we want to practice right now versus worry that we will never be enough? How about clarity of what we want to accomplish, and who we want to be in this moment versus the belief that "when I get ______, then I will be happy?" How about a willingness to live our lives in such a way that if those we loved were learning from us, watching us do everything we do, we would be proud of what they learned?
In my humble opinion, this is the most important learning of all, and further, maybe we shouldn't wait until we are about to die to learn it. In other words, what would it be like if we knew this as a teenager, a young adult, in our 30's, 40's, or 50's? Of course, the good news is that it's never too late, and the present is always the best time to start anything.
Therefore, here's to a life of raised awareness where we are willing to ask ourselves the questions suggested by Mr. Thurber ("What are we running from, and to, and why?") on a regular basis and then act on the answers in a way that has us creating every moment of our lives "on purpose."
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill