Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Beliefs
"If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is this the good news?"
I find this combination of an observation and a question to be valuable because it gives us the opportunity to examine the degree to which our beliefs are helping us create the experience of life we want. This comes from a major component of my "Life from the Top of the Mind" philosophy which states that one of the most powerful factors that determine how we experience life are the beliefs we hold about ourselves and the world around us. These include beliefs about our worth or value as a husband, wife, mother, father, friend, lover, colleague, student, teacher, employer, employee, etc., as well as our belief about our own power or ability to shape our experience of life (versus believing that we are simply the victims of what happens to us).
If we see ourselves as bringing valuable qualities to each of our roles (i.e. integrity, conscientiousness, compassion, trustworthiness, etc.) then we tend to go into each situation confident in our worth, and looking for opportunities to bring these qualities to life. On the other hand, if we see ourselves as less than worthy (or worthless) and at the mercy of the random events, we tend to be hesitant or cautious, and worried about what might happen, which of course, has us feeling anxious, resulting in a reactive versus proactive experience of life. It all depends on our beliefs. Where do these beliefs come from? Well, for the most part, they are formed in our past by the people and experiences we encounter as we grow up. If we are fortunate enough to have loving parents or positive adult role models who believe in themselves and their ability to create a meaningful life, then chances are, our own beliefs will reflect this confidence and worth. That's the good news. Unfortunately, if what we saw growing up were people who were frightened by life and/or worried that somehow they weren't good enough, or that the world was a dangerous place, then, chances are we inherited some of those beliefs as well.
That' why I love this quote and question, because together they give us an opportunity to determine whether we want to keep the beliefs we have acumulated about ourselves and the world, or change them. What's the criteria? Our experience of life, or how we find ourselves thinking, feeling, and acting on a daily basis. In other words, if we look at our lives and are, for the most part, pleased with how we feel and what we do, then we need not change a thing, because whatever beliefs we have inherited from the past are obviously serving us very well.
On the other hand, if we look at the different aspects of our lives and determine that we are not pleased with what we see, then we can begin to change the foundation for this experience (our beliefs) which will then begin to change our experience of life. In fact, those of you who have read my book know that I have created some very specific criteria that we can use to both evaluate our beliefs and change them if need be. This criteria comes in the form of four "neocortex" questions, or questions that can only be answered by the "Top of the Mind," or the most intelligent, capable part of our brain. For example, we could look at everything we believe to be true about ourself and the world and ask:
1. Was this belief chosen deliberately, or on purpose?
2. Is it helping me create the experience of life I want?
3. Does it make the statement I want to make about who I am (i.e., I am a person who believes that . . .)?
4. Would I teach or recommend this belief to a child or someone I love?
These questions can be very effective because (a) few people have chosen to see themselves as worthless or as victims of life deliberately, (b) this view is clearly not working for them and is not how they would want to describe themselves, and (c) this is certainly not a world view that they would teach or recommend to someone they loved.
While this awareness doesn't create a solution, it is valuable, because it allows us to become clear that a change is needed.
Next, the same questions can help us make that change. In other words, we can then say, "Okay, if I were choosing my beliefs about myself and the world deliberately, or on purpose, in a way that I feel would help me be more effective, in a way that does make the statement I want to make about who I am, and in a way I would recommend to someone I love, what would this look like? Or, what would I be thinking, feeling, and/or doing differently?" For example, if I were focusing on my qualities versus my deficits, and looking at those aspects of life that I can influence (as I would recommend to someone I love), how would this begin to change my experience of life? How important is this change? Am I willing to start now?
The bottom line is that life is always the bottom line, which means that how we experience life will always give us wonderful feedback about the quality of our beliefs. If we are willing to clearly acknowledge the impact of these concepts on our lives, (versus blame our good or bad experience on someone or something else) we can confidently keep those that are serving us and access our creativity to change those that need to be changed. Here's to the belief that we can bring this clarity, confidence, and creativity to life.
If we see ourselves as bringing valuable qualities to each of our roles (i.e. integrity, conscientiousness, compassion, trustworthiness, etc.) then we tend to go into each situation confident in our worth, and looking for opportunities to bring these qualities to life. On the other hand, if we see ourselves as less than worthy (or worthless) and at the mercy of the random events, we tend to be hesitant or cautious, and worried about what might happen, which of course, has us feeling anxious, resulting in a reactive versus proactive experience of life. It all depends on our beliefs. Where do these beliefs come from? Well, for the most part, they are formed in our past by the people and experiences we encounter as we grow up. If we are fortunate enough to have loving parents or positive adult role models who believe in themselves and their ability to create a meaningful life, then chances are, our own beliefs will reflect this confidence and worth. That's the good news. Unfortunately, if what we saw growing up were people who were frightened by life and/or worried that somehow they weren't good enough, or that the world was a dangerous place, then, chances are we inherited some of those beliefs as well.
That' why I love this quote and question, because together they give us an opportunity to determine whether we want to keep the beliefs we have acumulated about ourselves and the world, or change them. What's the criteria? Our experience of life, or how we find ourselves thinking, feeling, and acting on a daily basis. In other words, if we look at our lives and are, for the most part, pleased with how we feel and what we do, then we need not change a thing, because whatever beliefs we have inherited from the past are obviously serving us very well.
On the other hand, if we look at the different aspects of our lives and determine that we are not pleased with what we see, then we can begin to change the foundation for this experience (our beliefs) which will then begin to change our experience of life. In fact, those of you who have read my book know that I have created some very specific criteria that we can use to both evaluate our beliefs and change them if need be. This criteria comes in the form of four "neocortex" questions, or questions that can only be answered by the "Top of the Mind," or the most intelligent, capable part of our brain. For example, we could look at everything we believe to be true about ourself and the world and ask:
1. Was this belief chosen deliberately, or on purpose?
2. Is it helping me create the experience of life I want?
3. Does it make the statement I want to make about who I am (i.e., I am a person who believes that . . .)?
4. Would I teach or recommend this belief to a child or someone I love?
These questions can be very effective because (a) few people have chosen to see themselves as worthless or as victims of life deliberately, (b) this view is clearly not working for them and is not how they would want to describe themselves, and (c) this is certainly not a world view that they would teach or recommend to someone they loved.
While this awareness doesn't create a solution, it is valuable, because it allows us to become clear that a change is needed.
Next, the same questions can help us make that change. In other words, we can then say, "Okay, if I were choosing my beliefs about myself and the world deliberately, or on purpose, in a way that I feel would help me be more effective, in a way that does make the statement I want to make about who I am, and in a way I would recommend to someone I love, what would this look like? Or, what would I be thinking, feeling, and/or doing differently?" For example, if I were focusing on my qualities versus my deficits, and looking at those aspects of life that I can influence (as I would recommend to someone I love), how would this begin to change my experience of life? How important is this change? Am I willing to start now?
The bottom line is that life is always the bottom line, which means that how we experience life will always give us wonderful feedback about the quality of our beliefs. If we are willing to clearly acknowledge the impact of these concepts on our lives, (versus blame our good or bad experience on someone or something else) we can confidently keep those that are serving us and access our creativity to change those that need to be changed. Here's to the belief that we can bring this clarity, confidence, and creativity to life.
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill