Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Change
"Some people will never change until the misery of the known becomes greater than the mystery of the unknown."
For those of you who have been following this service for a while, you may notice that this quote is similar to a quote I have used in the past ("Most people never change until it becomes too painful not to.") While there certainly are some similarities, I believe that this week's quote adds a new element to the picture of how we deal with change that can be helpful to those of us looking to create more purposeful and effective lives.
In order to take advantage of this new perspective, we might want to shift (or change) our view of change from the problem to the solution. This view suggests that some change is a natural, normal, healthy part of life that rather than threatening our existence, actually ensures that we will survive and even thrive. The "change" I am referring to is our body's constant rejuvenation of cells. In fact, it is said that every seven years we replace every cell in our body, which means that we are literally not the same person we were seven years ago, and this is the GOOD NEWS!
The reason that this process of change works so well on a cellular level is that it is beyond our awareness, and thus beyond being influenced by our fears or concerns. In other words, given that we don't know what's going on, we are not frightened by either the old cells dying or the fact that new ones are being created, and thus "change happens" in the natural, normal, healthy way it was intended.
This suggests that what may be standing in the way of our moving through changes more naturally (and successfully) is our awareness of and subsequent fears about the process. My guess is that this resistance has its roots in our childhood where the unknown was indeed potentially threatening, and thus we learned to "stay safe" by staying near what is known and familiar. However, regardless of where it came from, given that change is a process we must master in order to be happy and successful, I suggest that we discover a way to deal with this aspect of life in a more effective manner.
One solution as I see it is to manage the way we deal with the unfamiliar by bringing something known to every unknown situation. For example, if we are considering a new job, relationship, a move to a new town, etc., much of what we encounter will be a mystery. If, however, we can bring something known, certain, and familiar to each of these new situations, we can then deal with the unknown more successfully.
What are these known elements? Well, they could be our clarity around who we are and the qualities we want to bring to every situation. They could include our relationship to a higher power and the comfort we find in the knowledge that no matter what happens, this connection is always there. These known aspects could also include the fact that as adults, we are now the ultimate authority in determining whether we remain in a situation and attempt to influence it, or leave. In fact, I would imagine that it was indeed these certainties that we didn't have as children (we didn't really know who we were, we didn't have a clear sense of our spirituality, and we certainly didn't have the ability to change or leave a situation whenever we wanted) and this is probably one reason why we learned to fear the unknown.
As adults, however, we have the ability to access this knowledge and use it to deal with whatever uncertainty lies ahead. In fact, when we become clear about the existence and value of these "known" components, we can then face the unknown with curiosity, intrigue, and maybe even a touch of excitement, at which time the mystery of the unknown ceases to be the problem, and becomes very much the next big adventure.
"The 'Magical Mystery Tour' is waiting to take you away . . . "
In order to take advantage of this new perspective, we might want to shift (or change) our view of change from the problem to the solution. This view suggests that some change is a natural, normal, healthy part of life that rather than threatening our existence, actually ensures that we will survive and even thrive. The "change" I am referring to is our body's constant rejuvenation of cells. In fact, it is said that every seven years we replace every cell in our body, which means that we are literally not the same person we were seven years ago, and this is the GOOD NEWS!
The reason that this process of change works so well on a cellular level is that it is beyond our awareness, and thus beyond being influenced by our fears or concerns. In other words, given that we don't know what's going on, we are not frightened by either the old cells dying or the fact that new ones are being created, and thus "change happens" in the natural, normal, healthy way it was intended.
This suggests that what may be standing in the way of our moving through changes more naturally (and successfully) is our awareness of and subsequent fears about the process. My guess is that this resistance has its roots in our childhood where the unknown was indeed potentially threatening, and thus we learned to "stay safe" by staying near what is known and familiar. However, regardless of where it came from, given that change is a process we must master in order to be happy and successful, I suggest that we discover a way to deal with this aspect of life in a more effective manner.
One solution as I see it is to manage the way we deal with the unfamiliar by bringing something known to every unknown situation. For example, if we are considering a new job, relationship, a move to a new town, etc., much of what we encounter will be a mystery. If, however, we can bring something known, certain, and familiar to each of these new situations, we can then deal with the unknown more successfully.
What are these known elements? Well, they could be our clarity around who we are and the qualities we want to bring to every situation. They could include our relationship to a higher power and the comfort we find in the knowledge that no matter what happens, this connection is always there. These known aspects could also include the fact that as adults, we are now the ultimate authority in determining whether we remain in a situation and attempt to influence it, or leave. In fact, I would imagine that it was indeed these certainties that we didn't have as children (we didn't really know who we were, we didn't have a clear sense of our spirituality, and we certainly didn't have the ability to change or leave a situation whenever we wanted) and this is probably one reason why we learned to fear the unknown.
As adults, however, we have the ability to access this knowledge and use it to deal with whatever uncertainty lies ahead. In fact, when we become clear about the existence and value of these "known" components, we can then face the unknown with curiosity, intrigue, and maybe even a touch of excitement, at which time the mystery of the unknown ceases to be the problem, and becomes very much the next big adventure.
"The 'Magical Mystery Tour' is waiting to take you away . . . "
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill