Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Children and Integrity
"Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you."
As we strive to make better decisions and live more purposeful lives, there are many sources of guidance and wisdom that we can turn to for inspiration. One of the most powerful for me has been becoming a father, and noticing how my two sons look to me for their guidance and wisdom. Not so much in the questions they ask, but just in the expressions on their faces as they watch me handling all the aspects of my life (frustration, joy, responsibility, stress, success, failure, etc.) It's like they are sitting there taking notes and saying, "Okay, Dad, show me how to deal with this part of life!"
This is especially apparent to me given that I have written a book on parenting (called "How to Get Kids To Do What You Want!") and one of the basic concepts of this book is that anytime we are interacting with our kids, we are teaching them something. While this can be somewhat scary at times (given that none of us always respond in a manner that is congruent with what we want to teach our children), I believe that it can also be a source of wisdom.
For example, as we search for ways to live more purposeful lives, what if each time we were about to act on or respond to a person or situation, we asked ourselves the question, "If I were responding in a way that I would want to teach to my child (or any child) what would that response look like?" Can you see how this perspective might be supportive in choosing what to think, feel, or do next? Could this be a valuable reminder of who we really are and/or want to be? If so, what a wonderful gift to all concerned. Not only would we be giving our children the gift of how to create a life based upon fairness, caring, and integrity, we would also be giving ourselves a place to turn for clarity and wisdom while we give to others the gift of interacting with someone who is coming from these qualities.
Of course, there may be a part of us that fears that we cannot live up to this admittedly high standard. We may be reluctant to attempt this way of life because we are afraid that there will be times that we will not respond with fairness, caring, and integrity. The bad news is, that's true. We are all human beings, and we will make mistakes. The good news, however, is that as we strive for excellence in all aspects of our life, we aren't talking about being perfect, just purposeful. This means learning from our mistakes as much as our success. It means looking back at those situations that were less than successful and asking ourselves the question: "Was I responding on purpose?" and/or, "If I were to do this again and I wanted to give my children an example of fairness, caring, and integrity, how might I do it differently?" When we are willing to turn to this source of wisdom for our learning, we not only have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, we also teach our kids how to learn from their imperfections. In doing so, we add another concept to H. Jackson Brown's beautiful thought... live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, integrity, and wisdom, they think of you. Not a bad legacy and life don't you think?
This is especially apparent to me given that I have written a book on parenting (called "How to Get Kids To Do What You Want!") and one of the basic concepts of this book is that anytime we are interacting with our kids, we are teaching them something. While this can be somewhat scary at times (given that none of us always respond in a manner that is congruent with what we want to teach our children), I believe that it can also be a source of wisdom.
For example, as we search for ways to live more purposeful lives, what if each time we were about to act on or respond to a person or situation, we asked ourselves the question, "If I were responding in a way that I would want to teach to my child (or any child) what would that response look like?" Can you see how this perspective might be supportive in choosing what to think, feel, or do next? Could this be a valuable reminder of who we really are and/or want to be? If so, what a wonderful gift to all concerned. Not only would we be giving our children the gift of how to create a life based upon fairness, caring, and integrity, we would also be giving ourselves a place to turn for clarity and wisdom while we give to others the gift of interacting with someone who is coming from these qualities.
Of course, there may be a part of us that fears that we cannot live up to this admittedly high standard. We may be reluctant to attempt this way of life because we are afraid that there will be times that we will not respond with fairness, caring, and integrity. The bad news is, that's true. We are all human beings, and we will make mistakes. The good news, however, is that as we strive for excellence in all aspects of our life, we aren't talking about being perfect, just purposeful. This means learning from our mistakes as much as our success. It means looking back at those situations that were less than successful and asking ourselves the question: "Was I responding on purpose?" and/or, "If I were to do this again and I wanted to give my children an example of fairness, caring, and integrity, how might I do it differently?" When we are willing to turn to this source of wisdom for our learning, we not only have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, we also teach our kids how to learn from their imperfections. In doing so, we add another concept to H. Jackson Brown's beautiful thought... live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, integrity, and wisdom, they think of you. Not a bad legacy and life don't you think?
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill