Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Flexibility
"Blessed are the flexible for they will not allow themselves to become bent out of shape!"
This quote, believe it or not, came from the adventure writer, Robert Ludlum, however, I always believe that wisdom should be acknowledged wherever we find it. In addition, I would imagine that "bent out of shape" is a state of being that many of us find ourselves experiencing more than we would like. Therefore, let's take a moment to discover how the concept of flexibility might serve those of us who are wanting to create a more purposeful experience of life.
Now, I doubt that many would suggest that flexibility is an insignificant concept in the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness, however, I am also not convinced that many of us really know how to apply this concept to our everyday lives. In other words, while we may say that flexibility is a good thing, we make choices that are more about a rigid view of "who's right" rather than a "flexible" perspective.
Of course, it must be said that there are times where a firm stand is exactly what is called for. In fact, I would guess that some people would even speak against being too flexible, because they may interpret the term to mean wishy-washy, or a description of someone who has no moral center. I would also imagine that there are people out there who try to be so "flexible" in their dealings with others that they never get what they want, and eventually wind up feeling resentful and stressed.
The issue raised in this week's quote, however, is not whether we should change our moral beliefs at the drop of a hat or always give in to others, but the degree to which our lack of flexibility results in our becoming "bent out of shape." Therefore, if you have determined that this twisted experience is not what you are seeking, let's see how we might use this concept to become more successful in our endeavors.
As I see it, the value of flexibility can be summed up in a statement made by one of my former professors (and current friend), Dr. Sam Buser. Sam said that the secret to happiness was a high tolerance for ambiguity. This (ambiguity) seems to be something that most people have trouble with. Maybe it's our fear of being out of control, maybe it's our need to predict and/or understand what is happening and why, but regardless, most people become very uncomfortable when they encounter a situation that does not fit their plan, expectation, or schema for "how things should be."
Unfortunately, this is when most people become "bent out of shape" (the problem) and this is exactly when flexibility is the solution. For example, let's assume that traffic is heavier than you expected on the route you chose, and as a result you might arrive at your destination later than you expected. Flexibility allows you to try a different route and/or adjust your plans of what you will accomplish once you arrive. Or, imagine that your family is wanting to eat out at a particular restaurant, however, upon arrival you discover that the wait is over an hour. Flexibility allows you to choose a different restaurant or find something to do in the interim that will be an enjoyable experience. On a more serious note, imagine that you are living the life of your dreams, say, feeling like "superman," making movies and enjoying the adoration of legends of fans, as well as, hobbies such as horseback riding. Then, one day you are thrown from a horse, and as a result, are paralyzed from the waist down. Flexibility allows you to go on with your life and become a spokesperson for people in similar circumstances, and show the world that we are more than our ability to move our extremities.
I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture. Bottom line, if "bent out of shape" is not the experience of life you wish to create, then I'm going to suggest that becoming skilled at the ability to be flexible will be a worthwhile pursuit. Of course, we all know that life will give us plenty of opportunities to practice. Therefore, our only real question is what do we want to practice... becoming more rigid or more flexible... becoming more insistent that the world conform to our expectations or more tolerant of situations and people that are different from what we expected...continuing to be "bent out of shape" by what we encounter, or learning to bend but not break in dealing with life? The choice, of course, has been and always will be up to us. Here's to an increase of blessed flexibility in our ability to choose.
Now, I doubt that many would suggest that flexibility is an insignificant concept in the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness, however, I am also not convinced that many of us really know how to apply this concept to our everyday lives. In other words, while we may say that flexibility is a good thing, we make choices that are more about a rigid view of "who's right" rather than a "flexible" perspective.
Of course, it must be said that there are times where a firm stand is exactly what is called for. In fact, I would guess that some people would even speak against being too flexible, because they may interpret the term to mean wishy-washy, or a description of someone who has no moral center. I would also imagine that there are people out there who try to be so "flexible" in their dealings with others that they never get what they want, and eventually wind up feeling resentful and stressed.
The issue raised in this week's quote, however, is not whether we should change our moral beliefs at the drop of a hat or always give in to others, but the degree to which our lack of flexibility results in our becoming "bent out of shape." Therefore, if you have determined that this twisted experience is not what you are seeking, let's see how we might use this concept to become more successful in our endeavors.
As I see it, the value of flexibility can be summed up in a statement made by one of my former professors (and current friend), Dr. Sam Buser. Sam said that the secret to happiness was a high tolerance for ambiguity. This (ambiguity) seems to be something that most people have trouble with. Maybe it's our fear of being out of control, maybe it's our need to predict and/or understand what is happening and why, but regardless, most people become very uncomfortable when they encounter a situation that does not fit their plan, expectation, or schema for "how things should be."
Unfortunately, this is when most people become "bent out of shape" (the problem) and this is exactly when flexibility is the solution. For example, let's assume that traffic is heavier than you expected on the route you chose, and as a result you might arrive at your destination later than you expected. Flexibility allows you to try a different route and/or adjust your plans of what you will accomplish once you arrive. Or, imagine that your family is wanting to eat out at a particular restaurant, however, upon arrival you discover that the wait is over an hour. Flexibility allows you to choose a different restaurant or find something to do in the interim that will be an enjoyable experience. On a more serious note, imagine that you are living the life of your dreams, say, feeling like "superman," making movies and enjoying the adoration of legends of fans, as well as, hobbies such as horseback riding. Then, one day you are thrown from a horse, and as a result, are paralyzed from the waist down. Flexibility allows you to go on with your life and become a spokesperson for people in similar circumstances, and show the world that we are more than our ability to move our extremities.
I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture. Bottom line, if "bent out of shape" is not the experience of life you wish to create, then I'm going to suggest that becoming skilled at the ability to be flexible will be a worthwhile pursuit. Of course, we all know that life will give us plenty of opportunities to practice. Therefore, our only real question is what do we want to practice... becoming more rigid or more flexible... becoming more insistent that the world conform to our expectations or more tolerant of situations and people that are different from what we expected...continuing to be "bent out of shape" by what we encounter, or learning to bend but not break in dealing with life? The choice, of course, has been and always will be up to us. Here's to an increase of blessed flexibility in our ability to choose.
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill