Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Freedom
"Freedom is one thing we cannot have unless we are willing to give it to others."
This is another quote sent to me by Ronnie Marr (a fellow lover of the written/spoken word and someone who has sent me many a thought-provoking saying), and I have chosen it for today's installment because today happens to be Veteran's Day. As you might notice, the acknowledgment says "Adapted from William Allen White," which means I have take the liberty (freedom) to change some of the wording. The original quote said: "Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others." Now, of course, there certainly is a lot of wisdom in this original version, especially on this special day when we are honoring all the veterans who were willing to risk their lives so that we might have the liberties and freedoms we enjoy today. And . . . as many of you who have been following these quotes and comments for some time know, I always like to take whatever quote I choose and make it as applicable to as many aspects of life as possible. Therefore, as mentioned earlier, the original quote said, "Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others," and I have changed it to "Freedom is one thing we cannot have unless we are willing to give it to others." While it may seem that these are just semantic changes, I'm going to suggest that the adapted version has a message that goes beyond the question, "What are we fighting for?" and goes to the heart of another question . . . "What we are living for?"
For example, in choosing the word "freedom" over "liberty," I am wanting to not only include the liberties we enjoy as Americans (such as freedom of speech, religion, etc.) but also the freedom from the debilitating experiences of frustration, resentment, stress, and anxiety that plague so many of us today. According to the wisdom of this quote, we cannot enjoy freedom from these experiences unless we are willing to give other people and other situations the freedom to be who and what they are. In other words, rather than spending our lives railing against the aspects of life that we don't like (traffic, difficult people, deadlines, etc.) we can liberate ourselves from the stress, frustration, and anxiety that is inherent in this struggle by just giving life the freedom to be what it is. Or put another way, as we are willing to allow traffic, difficult people, the weather, etc., to just "be" without becoming overly attached or invested in these external components being different, we will experience the freedom and serenity that this lack of attachment brings. (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . . ) While this is certainly easier said than done, I would wager most people would say that the effort is worth the reward.
The second change in the wording of the quote is around the word "only" versus the word "one." In other words, rather than saying "Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others," I prefer "Freedom is one thing we cannot have unless we are willing to give it to others." I have made this change because I believe that there are many things that we cannot have unless we are willing to give it to others. In fact, it may be true that this applies to almost every aspect of life. For example, I believe that we must have some degree of self-respect before we can truly respect others, we must have compassion for ourselves and a willingness to forgive ourselves our mistakes before we can be tolerant of the mistakes of others, on some level we must see ourselves as someone who is lovable before we can give love to others in a way that is free from strings, conditions, and requirements. In fact, I believe that in order to give anything to another, we must first have it ourselves or there is nothing to give. Further, we must have it in plentiful supply so that our giving is a free, joyful, and loving experience versus one that leaves us drained, depleted, and empty.
The final change in the quote replaces the word "you" with the word "we." As a psychologist, speaker, author, and fellow member of the human race, I believe that we all are in this together, and thus I try never to speak as if what I'm saying only applies to "you." The truth is that I need to hear and practice this advice just as much as anyone, and thus I find I am always changing "you" to "we" in all of my communication to reflect this perspective and partnership.
The bottom line is if what we are all wanting is "life" (a life worth living) "liberty" (the freedom to choose and freedom from negative attachment) and the ability to pursue happiness in our own way, then maybe one way of attaining these inalienable rights is to look for opportunities to give these cherished gifts to others. Then the questions "what are we fighting for?" and "what are we living for?" can become one in the same.
For example, in choosing the word "freedom" over "liberty," I am wanting to not only include the liberties we enjoy as Americans (such as freedom of speech, religion, etc.) but also the freedom from the debilitating experiences of frustration, resentment, stress, and anxiety that plague so many of us today. According to the wisdom of this quote, we cannot enjoy freedom from these experiences unless we are willing to give other people and other situations the freedom to be who and what they are. In other words, rather than spending our lives railing against the aspects of life that we don't like (traffic, difficult people, deadlines, etc.) we can liberate ourselves from the stress, frustration, and anxiety that is inherent in this struggle by just giving life the freedom to be what it is. Or put another way, as we are willing to allow traffic, difficult people, the weather, etc., to just "be" without becoming overly attached or invested in these external components being different, we will experience the freedom and serenity that this lack of attachment brings. (God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . . ) While this is certainly easier said than done, I would wager most people would say that the effort is worth the reward.
The second change in the wording of the quote is around the word "only" versus the word "one." In other words, rather than saying "Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others," I prefer "Freedom is one thing we cannot have unless we are willing to give it to others." I have made this change because I believe that there are many things that we cannot have unless we are willing to give it to others. In fact, it may be true that this applies to almost every aspect of life. For example, I believe that we must have some degree of self-respect before we can truly respect others, we must have compassion for ourselves and a willingness to forgive ourselves our mistakes before we can be tolerant of the mistakes of others, on some level we must see ourselves as someone who is lovable before we can give love to others in a way that is free from strings, conditions, and requirements. In fact, I believe that in order to give anything to another, we must first have it ourselves or there is nothing to give. Further, we must have it in plentiful supply so that our giving is a free, joyful, and loving experience versus one that leaves us drained, depleted, and empty.
The final change in the quote replaces the word "you" with the word "we." As a psychologist, speaker, author, and fellow member of the human race, I believe that we all are in this together, and thus I try never to speak as if what I'm saying only applies to "you." The truth is that I need to hear and practice this advice just as much as anyone, and thus I find I am always changing "you" to "we" in all of my communication to reflect this perspective and partnership.
The bottom line is if what we are all wanting is "life" (a life worth living) "liberty" (the freedom to choose and freedom from negative attachment) and the ability to pursue happiness in our own way, then maybe one way of attaining these inalienable rights is to look for opportunities to give these cherished gifts to others. Then the questions "what are we fighting for?" and "what are we living for?" can become one in the same.
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill