Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Freedom #2
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
I'm aware that this is neither the only nor even the first quote that speaks to our ability to determine how we feel and/or react to outside stimuli. However, I have chosen to include it as this week's selection because of three words: freedom, right, and power. I find these words meaningful in this context because they describe what we are really going for...freedom to determine who we are and how we respond to life as a "right." Then the quote speaks of our ability to bring this about as our "power."
As someone who believes in the importance of words and language, I wonder if looking at our ability to decide how other people and situations will affect us as a "right" and the resulting success as "freedom" might facilitate our success in this area? For example, I think it's safe to assume that few of us have been looking at how the world affects us in this manner. Most of us have been taught that when we encounter some difficult person or situation, that they/it will, of course, "make us feel bad." Then, because our beliefs are so powerful when we experience such an encounter, we react in the ways we have predicted, and do indeed experience negative feelings or emotions. Unfortunately, this only serves to confirm our original belief (that negative situations/people make us feel bad) and we become trapped in a self-fulfilling prophecy in which we feel neither free nor powerful.
What if, however, this is not how it has to be? What if, as Dr. Covey suggests, we have the "right" and the "power" to decide how situations and people affect us, and that when we exercise this choice we can experience "the ultimate freedom?" Further, what if we were to see our ability to make this choice as a "right"... something that we are born with and that no one can take from us? Finally, what if we then go on to believe that we indeed have the "power" to exercise this right?
If this were the case, isn't it likely that we would have a very different view of the difficult people and situations we might encounter in the future? If we believed that we have the right and the power to decide how external stimuli affect us, we could then go on to determine what this effect would be. Maybe we could imagine seeing a difficult situation as good information (versus something awful). Then, given that it is always our right and within our power as adults, we could either change the situation or leave the situation as need be. In terms of difficult people, maybe we could begin to see them as frightened versus frightening. We could then choose to respond to them in a way that defines who we are, and in a way we would recommend to someone we love or teach to a child. Or, maybe we would choose not to respond to the "frightened" person at all, and instead just go on our way letting their behavior be good information about their perspective on life, but not anything about which we choose to be concerned.
Would it be fair to say that exercising our right to make these powerful choices would indeed produce a sense of freedom...freedom from the fears of our past and the old prophecies and beliefs that have kept us trapped in a defensive/reactive mode...freedom from the fears of others who sadly believe that they must put others down in order for them to feel superior or worthy... freedom to accept the simple fact that the outside world will always be made up of both the positive and the negative, and thus it is up to us to determine how we want to respond. Or, as Dr. Covey suggests, "our ultimate freedom [which] is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
As someone who believes in the importance of words and language, I wonder if looking at our ability to decide how other people and situations will affect us as a "right" and the resulting success as "freedom" might facilitate our success in this area? For example, I think it's safe to assume that few of us have been looking at how the world affects us in this manner. Most of us have been taught that when we encounter some difficult person or situation, that they/it will, of course, "make us feel bad." Then, because our beliefs are so powerful when we experience such an encounter, we react in the ways we have predicted, and do indeed experience negative feelings or emotions. Unfortunately, this only serves to confirm our original belief (that negative situations/people make us feel bad) and we become trapped in a self-fulfilling prophecy in which we feel neither free nor powerful.
What if, however, this is not how it has to be? What if, as Dr. Covey suggests, we have the "right" and the "power" to decide how situations and people affect us, and that when we exercise this choice we can experience "the ultimate freedom?" Further, what if we were to see our ability to make this choice as a "right"... something that we are born with and that no one can take from us? Finally, what if we then go on to believe that we indeed have the "power" to exercise this right?
If this were the case, isn't it likely that we would have a very different view of the difficult people and situations we might encounter in the future? If we believed that we have the right and the power to decide how external stimuli affect us, we could then go on to determine what this effect would be. Maybe we could imagine seeing a difficult situation as good information (versus something awful). Then, given that it is always our right and within our power as adults, we could either change the situation or leave the situation as need be. In terms of difficult people, maybe we could begin to see them as frightened versus frightening. We could then choose to respond to them in a way that defines who we are, and in a way we would recommend to someone we love or teach to a child. Or, maybe we would choose not to respond to the "frightened" person at all, and instead just go on our way letting their behavior be good information about their perspective on life, but not anything about which we choose to be concerned.
Would it be fair to say that exercising our right to make these powerful choices would indeed produce a sense of freedom...freedom from the fears of our past and the old prophecies and beliefs that have kept us trapped in a defensive/reactive mode...freedom from the fears of others who sadly believe that they must put others down in order for them to feel superior or worthy... freedom to accept the simple fact that the outside world will always be made up of both the positive and the negative, and thus it is up to us to determine how we want to respond. Or, as Dr. Covey suggests, "our ultimate freedom [which] is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill