Quotes and Wisdom
from the Top of the Mind™
from the Top of the Mind™
Friendship
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
This quote on friendship was sent to me by a friend in Austin, Texas, and I have chosen it for this week's selection because of how well it captures the value of friends in our life. Of course, friends are treasures for many reasons, however, one of the most meaningful is their ability to understand and appreciate who we really are, and reflect this nature or "song" back to us when we have lost sight of these truths. In fact, at these times they seem to know us better than we know ourselves because they are looking at us from a perspective that has the benefit of being unclouded by self-doubt and fear.
I call this process "looking through the eyes of love," and in my books and seminars, I encourage individuals to use this perspective as a way to determine what choices to make and/or what to do next. In other words, I encourage them to ask the question: "If my best friend, or someone I loved was in this exact situation, what would I want for them, or what would I advise them to do?" Often this question produces an amazingly clear sense of direction, because it has the ability to take us out of our often myopic view of life (where the trees of doubt, fear, and uncertainty seem to be shrouding our view of the grandeur of the forest), and allow us to look at the situation and ourselves from a very wise perspective. Haven't you noticed how wise and all-knowing you can be when you are giving advice to your best friend? What we are really talking about here is "insight," or the ability to see in another (and even ourselves) the "song" or what is good, meaningful, and worth singing about even when (or maybe especially when) they/we have forgotten the words.
One benefit of this perspective on friendship is that we can use it to determine who our real friends are, and how our relationships with others are functioning in our lives. In other words, we can ask ourselves: Are those I call "friends" the people I believe have the ability to know my "song" or know who I truly am and what's important to me? Are they people that I can call upon to sing this song back to me when I have forgotten the words? If so, congratulations! You have a priceless treasure. I would encourage you to treat it as such. If not, maybe it's time to reexamine who your "friends" really are and/or create a more purposeful definition of friendship.
Bottom line, what we most need from our friends is not another person pointing out how we have failed, but someone who can see within us the potential to succeed. We need someone who has the ability to see within us what, at times, we can't see for ourselves. We need someone with the "insight" to see and reflect our best qualities and highest potential for success. We need someone to see through the trees and the underbrush and help us appreciate the majesty of the forest. Is this a description of the friends in your life? Is this a definition of your role as friend to others? To what degree would you describe your family as "friends" using this definition? Isn't it interesting that once we are willing to ask the important questions, we begin to know what to do with the answers? :-)
I call this process "looking through the eyes of love," and in my books and seminars, I encourage individuals to use this perspective as a way to determine what choices to make and/or what to do next. In other words, I encourage them to ask the question: "If my best friend, or someone I loved was in this exact situation, what would I want for them, or what would I advise them to do?" Often this question produces an amazingly clear sense of direction, because it has the ability to take us out of our often myopic view of life (where the trees of doubt, fear, and uncertainty seem to be shrouding our view of the grandeur of the forest), and allow us to look at the situation and ourselves from a very wise perspective. Haven't you noticed how wise and all-knowing you can be when you are giving advice to your best friend? What we are really talking about here is "insight," or the ability to see in another (and even ourselves) the "song" or what is good, meaningful, and worth singing about even when (or maybe especially when) they/we have forgotten the words.
One benefit of this perspective on friendship is that we can use it to determine who our real friends are, and how our relationships with others are functioning in our lives. In other words, we can ask ourselves: Are those I call "friends" the people I believe have the ability to know my "song" or know who I truly am and what's important to me? Are they people that I can call upon to sing this song back to me when I have forgotten the words? If so, congratulations! You have a priceless treasure. I would encourage you to treat it as such. If not, maybe it's time to reexamine who your "friends" really are and/or create a more purposeful definition of friendship.
Bottom line, what we most need from our friends is not another person pointing out how we have failed, but someone who can see within us the potential to succeed. We need someone who has the ability to see within us what, at times, we can't see for ourselves. We need someone with the "insight" to see and reflect our best qualities and highest potential for success. We need someone to see through the trees and the underbrush and help us appreciate the majesty of the forest. Is this a description of the friends in your life? Is this a definition of your role as friend to others? To what degree would you describe your family as "friends" using this definition? Isn't it interesting that once we are willing to ask the important questions, we begin to know what to do with the answers? :-)
Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill