"People are like tea bags, sometimes what gets them in "hot water" can also bring out their true nature and make them stronger."

- Unknown

I like this quote because it seems to give some purpose and/or meaning to all the challenges and tough times that we have faced in the past, and will face in the present and future. For example, if you ask people to look back and notice how they have grown and/or changed as a result of dealing with life's challenges, most will say that they are stronger, wiser, and more aware of who they are and what they want. An excellent example is people who have survived some life-threatening or near-death experience. Many will report making dramatic changes in their goals and priorities as a result of these experiences. Further, often in making these changes, they will feel stronger as a person and more "authentic" or true to who they really are.

Of course, not everyone reacts in this way. For some, the challenges of the past, present, and future only seem to reinforce their fears that they are flawed, cursed, unlucky, unlovable, and doomed to a life of getting "burned" by all the "hot water" to which they seem to constantly find themselves subjected. What is fascinating is that sometimes IT'S THE SAME EXPERIENCE! In other words, sometimes a group of people will experience the same thing, and some will take what they learned and feel stronger about who they are and what they want to do with their lives, while others will make the negative experience a validation of their fears about themselves and the world

I want to be clear that in suggesting that we can influence how we react to life's challenges, I am not looking to blame anyone for "not doing it right" or in anyway suggest that those who see the experience as a validation of their fears have "failed" in some way. I am simply pointing out that if you believe that we have some degree of influence in how we deal with the "hot water" in which we find ourselves (how we give meaning to the experience, how it affects our sense of self, expectations of the future, etc.), it might serve us to become skilled at learning and growing from these "problems" or challenges.

As we do become skilled at transforming these experiences, and learn the lessons that are there to be learned, who knows? Maybe we won't need to be "burned" quite so much in the future . . . maybe we can switch from hot tea to iced tea, and go though life keeping our "cool" versus "boiling over" :-)

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill