"Intense desire often exerts a strong gravitational pull on belief. When we really want it to be true, we often make it so." (and this, of course, is both the problem and the solution)

– Adapted from Robert Ludlum

This quote, adapted from the popular fiction writer, Robert Ludlum, was chosen for inclusion in our weekly connection because of its potential to help us examine those powerful perspectives that exert such a huge impact on our lives . . . our beliefs. "Beliefs" in this context refer to what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world, and what we will examine is how these perceived core truths color our experience of life.

For example, for those of you familiar with my work, you may remember me speaking or writing of the power of beliefs, and how they influence our interpretations and expectations (our thoughts). In other words, when we think something is true, we interpret incoming data in a way that is congruent with this truth, and create expectations of what will happen next. These thoughts then go on to produce emotions congruent with our beliefs (interpretations and expectations) which then give birth to certain behaviors, and ultimately, a specific experience of life.

Examples of the power of these beliefs could be the tendency of people in the past to attribute a ship sailing out into the ocean and never returning as having fallen off the edge of the earth based upon their belief that the world was flat. A more timely and unfortunate example might be the willingness of people to become suicide bombers based upon the belief that this is the "will of God," and that they will be rewarded in the next life for their actions. Of course, examples of the power of beliefs aren't always negative, as evidenced by the giving of billions of dollars to help the world's poor by the Bill Gates Foundation, our willingness to give blood, and the giving of love and compassion to the poor by people such as Mother Teresa.

That's why I added the tag line to Mr. Ludlum's quote (that this tendency for beliefs to exert such a strong gravitational pull in our lives is both the problem and the solution). One aspect of the problem is that many of us are unaware of what our beliefs are because we have not examined them as learned or chosen perspectives. We just think that because we have always believed something (and/or that those around us share this belief), it must be true. Examples of these "truths" that have proven to be false are the world is flat, the earth is the center of the universe, man will never fly, people of color are no more than property, women will never vote, etc. At one time, all of these were believed to be "true" by a significant number of people, and thus exerted a strong gravitational pull on their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

However, the point here isn't that the power of beliefs is problematic, but just that this power exists. The problem, again, is that many of us are unaware of the origin of our core beliefs and their power, and thus we are not in a position to influence how these "truths" affect our lives and our world.

The solution, therefore, is to raise our awareness of what our beliefs are and then evaluate them to determine the degree to which they are congruent with our highest purpose. Peter Sengue, in his book "The Fifth Discipline," speaks to this process of evaluation as "suspending" our beliefs long enough to look at them objectively. I like this because it calls to mind a vision of holding our beliefs up to the light (versus close to our chest) and looking at them objectively (versus subjectively). This "suspension" allows us to determine whether we want to continue to allow this perspective to guide our thinking and our life, or whether we want to change this belief to something more congruent with the experience of life we are wanting to create.

Of course, one challenge is that given that our beliefs lie just below our conscious awareness most of the time, how can we know what they are, much less when they may need to be examined? This is where the fact that beliefs trigger emotions and behavior can serve us very well. We can pay more attention to what we are feeling and what we do and work backwards. In other words, we can, after we become aware of a certain emotion and/or behavior, ask ourselves: "Hmmmm, I wonder what beliefs of mine are causing this emotion or causing me to behave in this manner?" Again, this doesn't mean we must change the belief, but at least now we will know the root cause is of the emotion and/or behavior, which then puts us in an excellent position to evaluate its value and choose whether we want to continue holding on to this perspective or not.

Examples of this might be our noticing that we become annoyed or even angry when a particular person in our life begins to talk about what they believe. ("Hmmmm, I must believe that other people have the power to annoy me or make me angry just by saying something with which I disagree") Or, it could be that every time we find ourselves waiting in lines or stuck in traffic or meetings, we feel certain emotions and/or tenseness. Based upon this awareness, we could see how we might believe that situations beyond our control have the power to trigger certain emotions, or even the physical reaction of tension. Or, maybe we find ourselves withdrawing (a behavioral response) from certain conversations, interactions, or experiences, etc. Regardless, using our reaction as a "signal" or indicator of a core belief (versus how someone or something is "making us feel") could let us know that we are holding on to a perspective that isn't serving us.

We could then go on to change that core belief to one that we would be proud to hold up for all to see. Or better yet, one we would be proud to teach to a child or someone we loved. In this way, the new belief would be created not by our past or the combined thoughts of others, but by the most purposeful part of who we are, and as a result, its gravitational force will pull us and our lives in a more purposeful direction. If this sounds good to you, maybe the question should be "how good?" or how intense is your desire to influence your life in this way? For, as Mr. Ludlum's quote implies . . . "if we really want it to be true, we (can) make it so." Here's to believing that quote, making it so, and making it happen . . . to having a desire for a certain way of life to be so strong that we gladly spend the time and attention required to choose the beliefs and align our interpretations and expectations in a way that create this experience. In this way, we turn what was the problem (a lack of awareness with respect to what pulls us in one direction or another) to the solution, and thus partner with and influence this strong gravitational pull in a way that propels us into a more purposeful future.

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill