"When all is said and done, our lives will either be a collection of experiences or excuses. Unfortunately, most people wait until all is said and done to decide what they want to collect."

– Inspired by John Roger and Peter McWilliams

I ran across this bit of wisdom while rereading "Life 101," a charming little book by John Roger and Peter McWilliams published back in 1991. Many of the concepts in the book are quotable, however, this one struck me as especially profound because of how it challenges us to make sure we are creating our lives on purpose versus by default. The reason I have described it as "inspired by" versus just "by" is that I have added some ideas to the original thought such as describing our lives as "a collection." I like this metaphor because it sums up the experience and the outcome of our choices, regardless of whether those choices are purposeful or not.

For example, the process of "collecting" when done purposefully isn't just about having, but building a collection. When used in this way, the term implies that we value what we are collecting (stamps, coins, figurines, etc.), and that we are enjoying the process, as well as, the end result. The process of "collecting" when less than purposeful, however, just implies a buildup (i.e., collecting dust), and describes more of a problem than a prized possession. Ironically, this is true even when what we are collecting actually has some value, for example, the term "collecting unemployment" is rarely described as something to be proud of or treasured.

Another aspect of this week's quote that I have added is the phrase, "Unfortunately most people wait until all is said and done to decide what they want to collect." What I mean by this is that many of us spend our lives just collecting a paycheck, or even collecting dust, and wait until all is said and done before we evaluate our decisions around what sort of "collection" we are building.

Of course, we always have very good excuses for our choices. Sure we would like to spend more time with our kids but . . . of course, we want to do more of the things we enjoy, but . . . without a doubt, we would love to travel more and experience other cultures, but . . . well, yes, we would love to write that novel, paint that picture, take that photograph, learn that instrument, language, philosophy, but . . . .

Yes, our excuses are excellent. They have to be to override that powerful yearning deep inside to do what we love. Therefore, we create a collection of excellent excuses, and when all is said and done, we look back on this collection, and what... smile? Feel a deep sense of pride? Want to pass this collection on to our children or grandchildren?

Mr. Roger and Mr. McWilliams describe this as a tendency to be stuck on our "buts." Not our "butts" (although this is often true as well) but our "buts." (Sure, we would like to spend more time with our kids BUT . . . do more of the things we enjoy, BUT. . . .

They suggest that we "declare our reasons unreasonable and our excuses inexcusable and get off our 'buts' and do something!" I suggest that we begin to ensure that our lives (which, of course, are simply a collection of choices and decisions) are created "on purpose." This means that we examine each choice to do or not to do, go or not to go, create or not to create, and determine if it is worthy of becoming part of our collection. This way when all is said and done, our life will indeed be a collection of experiences (versus excuses) and that we will indeed look back on this collection and smile, feel a deep sense of pride, and certainly want to pass this philosophy of life on to our children and grandchildren. When is it too late to decide what we want to collect?... Well, if we are still "saying and doing," then all is not "said and done."

Take care and God bless, Dr. Bill